thetorontobulletin.com Blog

Do you need the pretty Polka Dot Pill?

Do you think you might be helped by taking the pretty Polka Dot Pill? Ask your doctor whether the pretty Polka Dot Pill can help you.
Better yet, demand that your doctor prescribe the pretty Polka Dot Pill! You need the pretty Polka Dot Pill! Of course don’t take the pretty Polka Dot Pill if your feet hurt or you’ve had a headache in the past five years or if you’re pregnant or if you suffer from a stuffed nose.
Occasional side effects may include disorientation, promiscuity and loss of personal sense. In a few cases transience of lifespan may result. Don’t take the pretty Polka Dot Pill if you have had milk in the past two days or if your father was bald. Children should not be exposed to the pretty Polka Dot Pill unless they’ve been caged and neutered. Avoid having enemas if you’re on the pretty Polka Dot Pill.
That’s the brave new Tory future the frat boys at National Post and Global TV are trying to wrangle. Canada has protected to some small degree its citizens from the ravages of Big Pharma’s propaganda machine. The Aspers want to pull the plug and figure with another good ol’ boy from yahootiesville holdin’ the reins of power, it’ll finally happen. It almost did under the Shipping Magnate, but then the election got in the way and cleared things up real good.
Soon, like the American media giants, these good corporate citizens will be wallowing in the wealth that only drug giants can provide.